Dead and Screaming
Someone sent me an album once... it was titled "Dead and Dreaming; a Tribute to the Counting Crows". I never listened to it. Through the magic of iTunes shuffle, the same magic that brought me such gems as last week's "Losing Haringey" by The Clientele, some of the songs on this compilation made themselves known to me over the last several days. Now, sometimes a song makes itself known to you by whispering sweetly in your ear, some songs plant a seed in your mind and let it slowly grow and finally blossom into your consciousness. And yet other songs, typically the so-called popular ones, plant a rusty, overused hook into your brain and repeat themselves over and over and over and over. Each of these strategies seem to work, as each type of song seems to end up in my head.
And yet, the songs on this compilation used none of these strategies. They starting to slowly nag me, to beg for sympathy. Look at us, they said...we're pathetic... please like us. I ignored them. The strategy changed midsong: the vocals starting to whine. Why don't you like me? it pleaded... are we not as good as your other songs?? . I cringed, gritted my teeth and continued to ignore.... hoping for a change of pace. After all, they were cover songs... I had heard (and loved) their original siblings... something had to click. Then it happened: the strategy shifted again. From plead to whine to scream. The same simple chords were repeated as the narrative continued, but the song suddenly threw a tantrum. So, you don't like me? I should've known... you're just like everyone else... no one likes me! So, this is what they call emo.
This will undoubtedly bother some people, after all, there are tons of people who love this music. Or maybe they love to hate it. Or maybe they just love feeling hated, shunned, and ignored... and need a soundtrack for their pain. But there are some things that should be examined in this whole emo thing; some questions that I need answered before I can ever play these songs again.
We might as well start with the most pressing question first: do all of these bands share the same lead singer? Is this some massive collaboration, like how in 2003/2004 every hot single had Pharrell Williams in the background playing marimbas and shouting "Ho!" during the chorus? If so, who is this mysterious emo king? Is he the son of the guy that announces ads on the radio and the woman on 1-800 navigation menus, continuing a family tradition of vocal ubiquity? This is the only plausible reasoning behind the undeniable fact that the(se) singer(s) all have identical voices. I mean, is there something in the water in southern California that causes skinny boys to whine like cats fighting and develop a schizophrenic paranoia that nobody likes them? If so, the affliction appears to be more widespread than the similar vocal disease that caused all the alt-rock bands in the early 2000's to sound like Eddie Vedder's overpronounced anguished vocals (see Creed's pronounciation of the word open: oh-paaahhhhhn). Either way, the solution will eventually make itself known. If there is indeed (as I suspect) only one vocalist for all the bands, the emo king will eventually die, and the genre will cease to exist. Otherwise, if the tainted water situation is true, in 50 years, senior's homes will be populated with extremely whiny men, who will do nothing more than sit around and lament arguments on the swingsets and playgrounds of their youth.
My second question, simply put... what are you screaming about? If you want your anguish to be heard, wouldn't it be easier to just kick and scream in the middle of a busy city square? If nobody likes you, why do you think that screaming into a microphone will change that? I mean, a second ago, I didn't know you existed (hmm..I guess thats more ammunition for future songs), but now you're screaming at me - how does that make friends? If you're still so angry, maybe the music business just isn't for you! What about other emotions. Where are the happy songs, the surprised! songs, the loooooove songs? Why isn't the genre called "tantrum with a few chords"? I hope that someday, one of these "emo" bands nails the full spectrum of human emotion, an opus of experience and observation; equal happy and sad, anger and beauty... maybe even mix in some fully changed male vocals. Until then, even the songs about unrequited love and social issues (common staples in any genre of music) are reduced to foot stomping odes about fights at the swingset.
Finally, these band names are hilarious! I remember back about 10 years ago, there was a website that would generate a "wu tang" name based on your own... (Thanks Google... mine was 8-legged-DJ. Has someone made one yet that will generate emo band names? To do it, its quite easy. You just combine a month of the year with an adjective. lets try it: "Early October" "Screaming November"... orrrrr... you could go with the emotive choice: "the misunderstood".... "me against you"... "nobody likes me". I made those ones up, so feel free to use them. My favourite one, that seemed to sum it all up was : "and then i turned seven". Its a great name! But, it doesn't provide much room to grow! What if someday, you grow tired of singing songs about when someone stole your milk at lunchtime or how you always seemed to get cut from the team... I just don't see it as a headlining act!
In the midst of my musing about the genre, I have fully recognized that this is an extremely popular genre of music. Some of the bands that I enjoy listening to have ridiculous names; some of them get upset sometimes; some of them are even skinny and wear black hoodies and converse from time to time. Maybe these emo kids (or the emo king, if he truly does exist) have, through an extensive selection process taken all of the popular attributes from other genres and melded together into a stomping, crying, tantrum of a super genre. If so... I'm getting on board. From here on out, I'm keeping track: if you step in front of me in line.... if you blink the wrong way when you look at me... ignore a text message or forget to return a call.... you will be my anguish; you will be my album.
I've already come up with a band name:
"Thats it, I'm taking my sandbox and going home" - you can bet I'll be kicking and screaming all the way to the bank.
And yet, the songs on this compilation used none of these strategies. They starting to slowly nag me, to beg for sympathy. Look at us, they said...we're pathetic... please like us. I ignored them. The strategy changed midsong: the vocals starting to whine. Why don't you like me? it pleaded... are we not as good as your other songs?? . I cringed, gritted my teeth and continued to ignore.... hoping for a change of pace. After all, they were cover songs... I had heard (and loved) their original siblings... something had to click. Then it happened: the strategy shifted again. From plead to whine to scream. The same simple chords were repeated as the narrative continued, but the song suddenly threw a tantrum. So, you don't like me? I should've known... you're just like everyone else... no one likes me! So, this is what they call emo.
This will undoubtedly bother some people, after all, there are tons of people who love this music. Or maybe they love to hate it. Or maybe they just love feeling hated, shunned, and ignored... and need a soundtrack for their pain. But there are some things that should be examined in this whole emo thing; some questions that I need answered before I can ever play these songs again.
We might as well start with the most pressing question first: do all of these bands share the same lead singer? Is this some massive collaboration, like how in 2003/2004 every hot single had Pharrell Williams in the background playing marimbas and shouting "Ho!" during the chorus? If so, who is this mysterious emo king? Is he the son of the guy that announces ads on the radio and the woman on 1-800 navigation menus, continuing a family tradition of vocal ubiquity? This is the only plausible reasoning behind the undeniable fact that the(se) singer(s) all have identical voices. I mean, is there something in the water in southern California that causes skinny boys to whine like cats fighting and develop a schizophrenic paranoia that nobody likes them? If so, the affliction appears to be more widespread than the similar vocal disease that caused all the alt-rock bands in the early 2000's to sound like Eddie Vedder's overpronounced anguished vocals (see Creed's pronounciation of the word open: oh-paaahhhhhn). Either way, the solution will eventually make itself known. If there is indeed (as I suspect) only one vocalist for all the bands, the emo king will eventually die, and the genre will cease to exist. Otherwise, if the tainted water situation is true, in 50 years, senior's homes will be populated with extremely whiny men, who will do nothing more than sit around and lament arguments on the swingsets and playgrounds of their youth.
My second question, simply put... what are you screaming about? If you want your anguish to be heard, wouldn't it be easier to just kick and scream in the middle of a busy city square? If nobody likes you, why do you think that screaming into a microphone will change that? I mean, a second ago, I didn't know you existed (hmm..I guess thats more ammunition for future songs), but now you're screaming at me - how does that make friends? If you're still so angry, maybe the music business just isn't for you! What about other emotions. Where are the happy songs, the surprised! songs, the loooooove songs? Why isn't the genre called "tantrum with a few chords"? I hope that someday, one of these "emo" bands nails the full spectrum of human emotion, an opus of experience and observation; equal happy and sad, anger and beauty... maybe even mix in some fully changed male vocals. Until then, even the songs about unrequited love and social issues (common staples in any genre of music) are reduced to foot stomping odes about fights at the swingset.
Finally, these band names are hilarious! I remember back about 10 years ago, there was a website that would generate a "wu tang" name based on your own... (Thanks Google... mine was 8-legged-DJ. Has someone made one yet that will generate emo band names? To do it, its quite easy. You just combine a month of the year with an adjective. lets try it: "Early October" "Screaming November"... orrrrr... you could go with the emotive choice: "the misunderstood".... "me against you"... "nobody likes me". I made those ones up, so feel free to use them. My favourite one, that seemed to sum it all up was : "and then i turned seven". Its a great name! But, it doesn't provide much room to grow! What if someday, you grow tired of singing songs about when someone stole your milk at lunchtime or how you always seemed to get cut from the team... I just don't see it as a headlining act!
In the midst of my musing about the genre, I have fully recognized that this is an extremely popular genre of music. Some of the bands that I enjoy listening to have ridiculous names; some of them get upset sometimes; some of them are even skinny and wear black hoodies and converse from time to time. Maybe these emo kids (or the emo king, if he truly does exist) have, through an extensive selection process taken all of the popular attributes from other genres and melded together into a stomping, crying, tantrum of a super genre. If so... I'm getting on board. From here on out, I'm keeping track: if you step in front of me in line.... if you blink the wrong way when you look at me... ignore a text message or forget to return a call.... you will be my anguish; you will be my album.
I've already come up with a band name:
"Thats it, I'm taking my sandbox and going home" - you can bet I'll be kicking and screaming all the way to the bank.
posted by sobe at
4:19 PM
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